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Showing posts from October, 2006

Obsessive Thoughts and A Horse

I need to go to bed, but wanted to jot down my day. . .

Getting older is so hard. Obsessing over things I can’t control. I wish I could. But it seems that even the littlest of things send me to spiral in my mind. . . a bruise, graying hair, an age spot (which thank you Lord, I do not have!)

I know I’ve injured my right middle knuckle somehow this week, but can’t figure out how I did. But when I make a fist, it looks a bit different.

I surrendered my feelings and thought I was over it until last night when it was pretty apparent that my mood had changed. As my son described it, he said I turned “emo.” I thought it was great insight on his part.

Moment by moment today, I had to push the feeling to obsess aside, so that my 12 year old daughter and I could hunt down a dress for a “Father/Daughter” date night at our church.

Here she is. . . battling a severe asthma this week, another round of steroids to open her up, plus dealing with regulating her thyroid and rarely does she complain, …

There is Power

As I am driving away from our church's "Women's Breakfast yesterday," I say out loud, "Lord, I don't know why I am in awe of You. I should not be surprised by Your wonder."

Since being asked (a month ago) to lead the worship for this event, so many things came up and then there has a been the "down time."

And as I journaled in my previous blog, this week had been hectic. But I felt a peace that the worship would be alright. A friend told me a few days before that as a result of this week's craziness, He will be glorified through the music, He will be take over and the music will flow from me and my friends and will touch the many ladies attending.

How the Lord works it all out. . .

I didn't have time to ask my one friend to play percussion, but the Lord took care of it. . . she called me 2 days before the breakfast to let me know she would play. And my other friend was available to sing backup . . . as long as she knew the songs, tha…

Unfailing Love

What a week this has been. . .

Friend in hospital. . . driving a 1/2 hour away to her house a few times, to try to get it cleaned up for her, so when she comes home she will be comfortable and can concentrate on healing.

School. . . getting the kids there and back. Homework. . . what homework? Piano lesson, guitar lesson, drum lesson.

Wednesday. . . oldest daughter. . . asthma treatments all day. . . not doing well. Go to school potluck that night. Leave early to head off to ER to get her taken care of with steroids. But leaving the hospital she still is not feeling well. Wondering. . . Contemplating. . . should I have taken her to Children's? Does she need to be hospitalized? Why this week? Her birthday party Friday? That will break her heart.

Thursday . . . still not feeling better. . . back to the doctors. . . another round of steroids. . . FINALLY!!! She is back to normal. . . onto the next thing. . .

Friend in hospital. . . I make my way to meet w/physicians to go over…

I learned the truth AT SEVENTEEN. . . no 45

I wanted to be in our school's talent show so bad, but I had to be a Junior, Senior or a gifted Sophomore in order to sing a solo. I was a Sophomore and I believed I was "gifted." So I took the plunge, stepped out and signed up for "tryouts."

Mr. Reed looked so much like Richard Dreyfuss' from "Mr. Holland's Opus," but these were vocal classes he taught at Palm Springs High, not band as Mr. Holland taught. He was very much the same type of personality; everything was done to the letter. Performing; guys in black pants, white shirts. Girls, hair pulled back, no earrings, only posts. . . shoes. . . beige pumps. YUCK! This was before pumps were in 5 years later in the 80's.

Mr. Reed had very high standards for his singers. Only the best would do or the very popular. But I would give it shot anyway.

He asked me if I was sure I wanted to do this even though I was only a Sophomore and didn't have anyone to accompany me. I was sure. I w…

What is a friend?

Today, I had lunch with a dear friend from California. We share the same heritage and a deep love of the Lord. What a blessed time.

Last night, I had coffee with a dear friend I've known since our days in California. The conversation was very deep, very sincere, very moving.

Last week, I was blessed by spending time with my newest friend talking music, our heritages, and our lives.

Last weekend, I spent time with my sister and her partner without my children around. I've never allowed myself to let go and act as silly or have as much fun as I did with them then.

It seems that this last month has been about friendships in my life.

New friendships, old friendships and friendships in the middle.

Cultivating, giving, demonstrating, receiving and loving.

I have been blessed by the new friendships that the Lord has allowed me to share in recently. And the friendships that I've had for many years, sharing our good times as well as our difficult times.

In reflecting on these recen…