Lo's place

Beauty For Ashes & Healthy Changes

2011-12-31T11:41:00.000-08:00

Facebook has implemented the new Timeline. I have to admit, I was not too excited about the change. Just as I get used to the "new way" of doing things, it all has to change. But I have forged ahead, trying to make the best of it. I truly did NOT like the idea of going back and looking at what I've posted in years past. Who wants to look at all the yucky status updates we've posted???

And for Facebook themselves, there's alot of negatives attached to them. But I have to admit, I think the Timeline theme was a good move. For me, at least.

You see, this was not the best year for me in respect to health and some personal challenges. And as much as I don't care to go back and look at 2011, I needed to go back. And you know what?? I saw so many WONDERFUL blessings!!! Even the ashes were beautiful!!

"Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way." James 1:2-4 [The Message]

So what for 2012 & beyond? Healthy changes!! I'm not waiting until the new year to begin. Drinking mushroom coffee (Ganoderma), juicing, eating dark green leafy vegetables and making it a point to walk more. Objectives? To be ulcer free, thinner, but mostly... healthy & content.
Happy New Year!!

Age Is Just a Number. It's What's Inside That Counts!

2011-09-15T17:03:00.000-07:00

I turned 50 this summer! I can’t believe I am 50 years old!!
I was just a little girl not too long ago! I was just 18 a few years ago!

Looking for something cute online to express how I felt about entering this new decade and saying goodbye to the last one, I found a quote and decided to make it part of my profile pic.

Age Is Just a Number

I am thankful that I am in good health. Sure, I could stand to lose a few pounds, but aside from my replacing my nearsightedness for farsight and a healing ulcer, I want to keep it that way.
So I am pumping the probiotics and going gluten free!!

And like all the Hispanic women before me, I will always stay a brunette ; )

Celebrating my big day by doing a little karaoke.
My friend in the background is a CRACK UP!!

Blogging tips for the new and frequent blogger

2011-05-17T23:57:00.000-07:00

So I've been working on my other blog Spin That 45 and so far, it has been an amazing ride!!

I LOVE blogging, there is no doubt about that!! But since I've been reviewing new music and talking about the latest on who to listen to and what, I've been feeling this need to want MORE!!

Give me MORE. . . MORE READERS!!!

So. . . how to go about that!?

Isn't it cool how when you think about something that you want, somehow, THINGS start to happen in a way that you least expect it?

Take for example, spending a morning with Life Coaches' Laurie Hardie & Suzette Parker, who host a radio program called "Coffee with The Coaches." They had invited me to sit in with them at a local coffee house where I met some lovely ladies, including one Marlee Huber.

Through our conversations which centered around the "treasure maps" the ladies brought, the "HOW TO" of how to get there came up. And of course, BLOGGING was high on the list.

Marlee mentioned her newly created blog and her desire to make it the best. So she researched how to get the most from blogging, including achieving the most hits. What came from that is her April 7, 2011 blog entitled "12 Tips on Reaching 500 Hits," which you can read from her site: "Your Flourishing Life." She said that writing that blog really affirmed that the tips she wrote about worked!!

Well, I was so excited by what she said that I couldn't wait to look it up!!

I did as soon as I got in my car!! And I SO want to share them you!! Because following these tips really did work on SPIN THAT 45!!!

You can definitely visit Marlee's site to read her tips, but I am just too excited and HAD to post them below!!

Here's what she says to those of us who "wants 500 hits on their blog in a couple months." In my case, I had 300 hits in less than 2 weeks!!!

1. Pick a topic with universal appeal. Every organism is born to flourish. Find a topic that will attract a variety of readers.

2. Pick a topic that fascinates you. Ask yourself, “Can I be excited about this topic for the duration?” If you’re not enthusiastic, don’t expect readers to return.

3. Pick a topic that you know something about. I didn’t start out to study flourishing, but to understand behavior styles. Several years later after thousands of hours of research, I realized I had discovered the secret formula for flourishing in life.

4. Pick a topic that is transformational. Everyone wants to be re-invented. What I learned on flourishing has revolutionized my life. What has transformed your life? How can you guide your reader into being his personal best?

5. Practice compelling language. Engage the emotions as you write; hone your storytelling ability; make it easy to read and beneficial; avoid the passive voice; write for 8th graders. People don’t have a lot of time; make it worth their time.

6. Develop a following on social media. Having friends in place means a ready-made audience of those who know, like and trust you. Do friends and followers already find you uplifting? Encouraging?

7. Find a mentor. Especialy one who can help you if you aren't computer savvy and has LOTS of patience!! If you know a patience teen, that would be great!! I want to learn how to comment and like on Tumblr and am having the most difficulty trying to comprehend that site, but I know I will cuz I asked a friend of my son's to help me! ; )

8. Write on trending topics. Twitter posts hot topics throughout the day. On days when I write on trending topics the number of hits increases dramatically. Following the Christchurch earthquake, I wrote on how to re-open supply lines and get Christchurch flourishing again. Stats soared.

9. Write 2-3 times per week. Posting regularly demonstrates commitment and search engines like that.

10. Write 250-350 words. This is a good readable length attractive to Google and friends.

11. Tag each article with 5-10 subject headings. For example, Christchurch/New Zealand/Earthquake/Compassion/Supply lines.

12. Auto-publish on Facebook and Twitter. Tweet a catchy title; add a photo along with a compelling lead in for Facebook. Make it easy for your friends and followers to read your musings.
Published by Marlee Huber for Your Flourishing Life

Let me just say that after you've read these, don't expect these results right away. If you are blogging and you love your topics??? Then keep doing what you're doing, because the opportunity will present itself when the time is right.

In my case, I was doing what I do and then recently, I found that someone I know, Snuffy Walden was going to be on The Ellen Show with with a super talented young woman by the name Sara Niemietz. I watched it and was so amazed by her talent, I wanted to blog about her. THAT'S Tip #2!! : ) In less than 48 hours after posting it, I had gotten 100 hits.

Then that week, American Idol's Casey Abrams ALSO made an appearance on The Ellen Show. And being a huge fan of Casey, OF COURSE I had to blog about him. . . BAM. . . another 100 hits!!

I didn't blog about them to increase my hits. I blogged about them, because these two people as tip #2 said, fascinated me!

And as I continue to blog new music and artists, I will keep these tips at hand so I can review them from time to time.

Thank you Marlee for making mention of this valuable article and passing on the wisdom!!

.

It's The Time of the Season

2011-03-19T15:38:00.000-07:00

There have been so many changes in my life these last couple of years, which is probably why I haven't been blogging. . . apologies.

My 50's are FAST approaching!!! Perimenopause is in full gear, people!! And it should be, as most of my friends are not only done with perimenopause, but menopause itself!! HA!!

Another change. . . my professional life!

Professional life. . hmm. . .it seems funny to even say that!! Because, I've never really HAD a professional life.

Sure, I've worked since the time I was 8 years old, babysitting, then at 12, working as a hostess at El Torito and other various jobs. Then at GTE for 10 years. But those were never "careers." As a wife and mother, homeschooler, etc, I would joke and say that my career was as "Domestic Engineer."

Everything in our lives is, I believe, training or stepping stones to the next thing. So I suppose one could say, I've been training for this season all my life. : )

I've Got The Music in Me

It's no surprise that "this season" is closely related to music. My love of music goes back to the womb!! Even further! It's in my genes. Infact, my great aunt on my mother's side was a recording artist in the 1930's. She recorded for Decca's Mexican label under the name of "Adelita y Chico." I'm fairly sure all the songs she recorded, she wrote.

One of those songs, "Los Laureles," was & is a staple amongst those who've recorded la musica de rancheros. Linda Ronstadt is also on that list, having recorded it on her "Canciones de Mi Padre" album.

Unfortunately, credit has been give to one, Jose Lopez, who changed one line of the song. When my grandmother and her other sister found out that Linda had recorded the song and the credit was incorrect, they sought an attorney showing proof of royalities. The attorney agreed that she indeed had written the song, but because she had passed away, her closest living heir was her husband. Any royalities would be forwarded to him and my grandmother and great aunt "couldn't stand him!" So they let it go!!!

Somewhere, there is a 2nd cousin that has those papers of proof. In the meantime, thanks to THE ONLINE DISCOGRAPHICAL PROJECT, I did find proof she had recorded the song in 1939.

My grandmother, Alice, Adelita's sister, also played guitar & wrote songs. Where those songs are, is a mystery. . . sad!!

Okay, I'm digressing here!!

But you get the point. . . I've got the music in me!!

Cliché, I know!! ; )

Because music has been such a deep part of my life, it only seems natural that I would make it a career out of it. But how?!

Amateur: The Lover of. . .

Thanks to a local radio program called "Coffee with The Coaches," I am their "Reality Coaching Client" for the month. With their help, I am moving towards my goal of being what I am naturally; a Connector. Plus the amateur talent scout, artists and repertoire person, critiquer of music, producer (yes, I have put my two cents in)!!, musicologist, blogger.

The benefit of being a "connector" is having the "connections!" : )
This week, I've consulted with three of those connections, one being my sister, whose love of music extends more to the technical side. She is a sound person, having worked on various films as sound editor and has had her share of spinning those records as "DJ D'Monjah."

If you're interested in reading what I've learned and what possibilities lie ahead for me, go to "Coffee with The Coaches'" Facebook page.

Courage: Mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand fear, or difficulty

Stepping out is always difficult because more often than not, I try to look at ahead and then I see that there is commitment involved. YIKES!! When I realize that I'm gonna have to put an effort in, I get scared!! I get the "what if's."

This week on Coffee With The Coaches the topic of the show was about "courage." When I think about courage, I think about those who are fighting life threatening situations, living in dangerous places, etc. I don't always equate a change in careers or even starting one, as courageous. But as you can see from the above definition that courage does fit that mold.

I really like what I found below:

Tips for applying courage at work

Courage leaders recognize defining moments and apply courage consciously. Here's how to do it.

Affirm your strengths constantly. Realize that no one expects you to be perfect, only to do your best. Take time for daily reflection so you can evaluate your strengths and how to best use them. When you know how your talents can benefit your organization, you'll act with determination.

Hurdle obstacles, take risks. Every behavior you exhibit and every action you take are conscious choices. Give yourself permission to choose to be different so you can creatively navigate your way around, through, or over any obstacles in your path. When you feel fearful, ask yourself, What's the worst that can happen if I do this? Usually, the worst never happens. So take the risk.

Manifest vision. There are no shortcuts in courage leadership. Develop a crystal clear vision of your goal, and become stubborn about attaining it. That will help you discard any nonproductive judgments others may make about you.

Reflect self-esteem. All of your actions reflect who you are and what you stand for. If you're repeating a certain behavior that you don't like, ask, What do I need to change? Sharpen your skills and abilities through education, reading, and training, and surround yourself with the kind of people you want to emulate.
http://is.gd/WnIheo

INSPIRING!!! EMPOWERING!!! ENCOURAGING!!!

So now it's time to get to work!!

I'll keep you posted!

I promise it won't take me forever and a day! ; )

2009-08-30T08:51:00.000-07:00

Three Dollars Worth of God

I would like to buy $3 worth of God, please.
Not enough to explode my soul or disturb my sleep,
but just enough to equal a cup of warm milk
or a snooze in the sunshine.
I don’t want enough of God to make me love a black man
or pick beets with a migrant.
I want ecstasy, not transformation.
I want warmth of the womb, not a new birth.
I want a pound of the Eternal in a paper sack.
I would like to buy $3 worth of God, please.

— Wilbur Rees

I am reminded that I tend to be this way. I am thankful that the Lord will not allow me to be there.

Tis the Season

2007-12-11T19:46:00.000-08:00

As I am rushing around trying to get all accomplished before Christmas, I am reminded, once again, that the Lord could care less as to whether I've sent out this years' Christmas cards or whether I make this holiday party or that holiday party, or whether my house is perfectly decorated with every bow, garland or Christmas light in place.

All the other stuff can wait. . . .

At the moment, all is tranquil. . . my twiin girls are near me, doing their homework. Dinner is about done.

I am doing what is most important. . . .
Not stressing over what I need to do.

I guess the play we are doing at church this year has gotten through to me.

The main character (played by me) is a mother, who in her day was an theatre major. She is trying to put on the Church Christmas pageant, only to be "sabotaged" by all who are participating.

No one knows their lines, some kids are sick, so there are only 2 wisemen instead of three. The boys are fighting and everyone is miserable. The characters in the play believe the mom, who is head of the "Christmas Committee" has gone wacky because she has gone off the deep with this play, wanting everything perfect.

The mom sees herself as indispensable to the church. She believes that Christmas at the church wouldn't even happen if "she" didn't make it happen herself. She builds the set, she bakes the cookies, she creates the costumes, she writes the script and even arranges the music. On top of that, she has to get all done for her family's Christmas. All the time, not taking the time to enjoy the fact that Jesus was born to save her life. Not taking the time to celebrate his birth.

It isn't until her husband, the pastor, tells the kids in the play, a few stories about people forgetting Jesus' birthday, which relates to our present age, that she understand SHE is the ONE who has forgotten his birthday.

Everything turns out fine. . . the Christmas pageant goes on and the mom participates with joy in the end.

Dinner is ready and being served.

I must go.

Good night!!!

JOY TO THE WORLD
THE LORD IS COME
LET EARTH RECEIVE HER KING!!!!

Fifteen Days Before Christmas!

2007-12-10T22:10:00.000-08:00

So much to do. . . .so much to do. . . . .

Memorize lines

Buy Christmas Cards

Write them out

Print out the Christmas picture

Send them all

Buy Christmas gifts for family out of state

To buy online or here and just send them on

What to buy? What to buy? I don't know!

Oh memorize those lines, don't forget to memorize those lines.

Memorize the songs

Where do I stand? Which way do I walk again? Where am I headed?

Upstage or downstage?

Stage left or stage right?

You want more emotion?

Not enough passion?

Oh my gosh, what to make for dinner!!

What about laundry?

Running around while the kids are in school. . . .

Physical therapy, market, find an outfit for Saturday,

Can't I just meet my friend for coffee ?

Errands to run after school. . . .

Allergy shots on Tuesday

Homework

Piano lessons on Wednesday

Homework

Drum lesson on Thursday

Homework

One on her way to youth group on Wednesday,

While the other two are off to Awana.

Remember to bring stuff to decorate the leader like a tree.

In the car, back and forth, back and forth.

Don't forget he has youth group on Thursday.

Oh my gosh!!!

The neighborhood Christmas party is Friday.

Have to go, since it's across the street!!

Oh no!

Don't forget the dessert!!!

Piano recital on Saturday!!!

But first to take him to driver's training that morning.

Where to fit in a "updoo" and make up.

Company Christmas party that night.

Make sure to look like a million bucks!!!

Sunday would love to rest, but no can do

Get up for church,

Then on to drop off one at rehearsal

Drop him off at driver's training

Then back to pick up the one from rehearsal

Get home and put dinner together

Go back to pick him up from driver's training.

Oh my gosh!!

Christmas Shopping!!!

I've got to memorize those lines!!!

Where is the joy?

Next time.

Don’t Look Back

2007-12-08T12:50:00.000-08:00

No matter how much we try, we can’t repeat history, we can’t pick up where we left off, we can’t go back and live life out differently.

We can look back on our lives and wish things had been different, but what if the life we are living today was the life we had to live to make us into who God is perfecting us to be?

My life. . . has been good overall. Sure, when the times were hard, they were HARD. . . for me. But I have been blessed beyond measure.

My life as a wife has at times been bittersweet. May I add that in ignorance and disobedience, I contributed to a lot of that bittersweetness. Noted author, Gary Thomas of “Sacred Marriage,” asks the question “What if marriage is NOT to make you happy, but to make you holy?” To put it this way, “what if the very person you are married to is exactly the person God would use to “clarify” the junk in your heart and mind, floating to the top, as butter is clarified when it is boiling. The fat floats to the top, and is scraped off.

I am thankful to the Lord for His faithfulness in my life. He continues to speak to me and show me that He is about “a work” in my life and my dear husband is part of that work.

This week, I found out that my neighbors are divorcing, another couple I know are separated, but hopeful of reconciling in their separated time. There are a handful of couples, I know, going through the same thing . . . thinking that the grass is going to be greener on the other side of the fence. These are church going people.

What is going on????

People, we are at the end of the age and the trials and tests planned for us are meant to see what we are made of. To the believers of the faith, I am speaking to.

We are more focused on being happy, than being holy. Do we even know what that means?

We all have hard times. We blame our upbringing, our past relationships, our parents,etc. We all have imperfect marriages. So what!!! Have we thought that perhaps we induced some of this hardship by making poor choices and taking our eyes of the “Author and Perfector of our faith?”

I know I am guilty, big time!!!

But I know my Redeemer lives!!! Thank You, Jesus!!!!

Romans 8:29 says, “For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren.” In other words, God hand picked you and I to live out the life we are living today. Does that mean He wants us in a bad marriage or an unfulfilled one? NO!!! Praise Him that He has given us free will to choose. We live out the repercussions of those choices, good or bad, for which we cannot blame God.

My feelings for those I’ve known who left, tore, ripped their families apart to fulfill their inflated idea that their new life with their new “soul mate” would be everything they had ever fantasized. But sadly, I have come to find out that their life is worse than before.

What about if there is abuse or addiction? These are extenuating circumstances, which should be addressed by one who is qualified. But as one, who grew up in an abusive home with addictions, I can say, for myself, that God has used that time in my life to strengthen me and show me that I if I keep my eyes on Him, He will get through those rough seasons.

A snippet of my past caught me recently. Well it’s more like I had pursued the past. For a split moment, I wondered . . . “what if,” all the while I was in my time in God’s Word. I believe before the thought became too nurtured, the Lord spoke to me in the verse of the day. . .

“But Jesus said to him, “no one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.” Luke 9:62

Okay, there it is!!! Immediately, I was sobered up! What happened to Lot’s wife when she looked back at Sodom? She became a pillar of salt. Why? I believe she was unwilling in her heart to say goodbye to her life back in Sodom, her idea of happiness.

I am reminded of Galatians 5:16 “Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you DO NOT DO the THINGS that you wish.”

The bottom line. . .

I can’t go back.

And truly, I don't want to go back.

I want to go forward.

And pursue righteousness.

To Glorify the Lord in my walk and not put on a “show” when out, like the Pharisees did, but be genuine at home, whether by myself or with my family, where it counts.

I want to be fit for the kingdom of God.

.

My Fiery Furnace is not as hot as some

2006-11-07T16:16:00.000-08:00

Our home fellowship is doing a Beth Moore study on the book of Daniel. . . POWERFUL!!!

Regarding Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. . .

King "Nebby" had ordered that they be thrown into the fiery furnace, Daniel 3:13 - 18 Beth Moore stops here to talk about how perhaps we might be facing a fiery furnace of some type in our own lives.

She uses the example (speaking to ladies here) that perhaps we find a lump and the doctors say it is malignant. She says: "Consider three different scenarios of which people of God will face in their fiery trial.

One of three things can or will happen:

Scenario A: Pray for healing; for a miracle. Go to the doctors and find that the lump is gone!!!

Through this season we find that we can be delivered from the fire. The dividend is. . . our faith is built.

As with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, they were delivered from the fire.

Scenario B: Because the lump is malignant, necessary steps will have to be taken, i.e. surgery, chemo, etc. We find that we can be delivered through the fire. John 11:4 says, that "it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it." We are all gonna have to go through the fire somehow, some way. But God will be glorified.

In Isaiah 43, it says " Fear not, for I have redeemed you, I have summoned you by name; you are mine . . . I will be with you. . . When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze."

1 Peter 1:6,7 says: "In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith–of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire–may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed."

So the end result? Our faith is refined!

Scenario C: Modern medicine will not work. Jesus will be calling you home. Beth says this is what we SHOULD be attaining for. But we in our flesh struggle with taking off the coat and leaving it behind.

But what happens in death is that we can be delivered by the fire. Hebrews 12:1, 2 says "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

Christ is the Author and Perfector of our faith.

The dividend? Our faith is perfected. "The last enemy to be destroyed is death." 1Cor 15:26. And James 1:12 says; "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." And through this season "that what has happened. . . has really served to advance the gospel." (Phil 1:12)

If we look back at Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, they had been tied up and thrown in. But afterward, "Nebby" saw them walking "unbound!" The only thing that was flammable were their "ropes" So she was saying that "God will allow us to go through the "fiery furnace" to allow the areas of our lives that we are bind us(ropes), to be burned off of us.

That was so profound to me. AMAZING!!!

So afterwards, a lovely couple in their 60's shared that they are going through "Scenario B."

Donna has been diagnosed with breast cancer and through prayer with her husband, Larry and prayer family, she has opted against traditional medicine, including surgery.

She has chosen death, if that is what the Lord has for her.

Let's just say, not a word was spoken, not a breath breathed!

But they KNOW that God has called them to this journey and they believe that God has healed Donna. In the meantime, she has work to do. Three women she knows have been diagnosed with breast cancer in the same week! God is using her to encourage them. She is also seeing a naturopath and the lump is shrinking.

What a lovely couple.

I went to Bible study feeling very discouraged about some very small trials that occurred this evening, but I left there "encouraged" and strengthened.

Obsessive Thoughts and A Horse

2006-10-28T23:51:00.000-07:00

I need to go to bed, but wanted to jot down my day. . .

Getting older is so hard. Obsessing over things I can’t control. I wish I could. But it seems that even the littlest of things send me to spiral in my mind. . . a bruise, graying hair, an age spot (which thank you Lord, I do not have!)

I know I’ve injured my right middle knuckle somehow this week, but can’t figure out how I did. But when I make a fist, it looks a bit different.

I surrendered my feelings and thought I was over it until last night when it was pretty apparent that my mood had changed. As my son described it, he said I turned “emo.” I thought it was great insight on his part.

Moment by moment today, I had to push the feeling to obsess aside, so that my 12 year old daughter and I could hunt down a dress for a “Father/Daughter” date night at our church.

Here she is. . . battling a severe asthma this week, another round of steroids to open her up, plus dealing with regulating her thyroid and rarely does she complain, let alone obsess. Yet, Thursday night, after a night at Red Robin for her birthday, I hear her in her room, turning on her nebulizer to give herself a treatment. Pobrecita, mija.

So I have to put my own battle aside and spend some time with her. It was fun. We found several dresses, which we bought and would make the final decision at home.
Of course, I thought she looked beautiful. And I think she felt the same. Its hard being twelve sometimes, but not tonight.

So what to do with the twins.

They were voicing their opinions on not being invited on this date, too. So I knew I had to find a way to spend time with them that would take their minds off of being jealous of Maria. 

Go to a movie! But what’s playing? Oh I hope there a kid friendly movie out there.

Yes! “Flicka!” I do a quick time check and then check the reviews. . . like it would really matter. As long as it’s PG, is what I am thinking, who cares about reviews?!

So I invite my young friend, Nichole to go with us. Her husband was at the Father Daughter thing helping out.

My son Doug wants no part of seeing Flicka, so he decides to go see “The Prestege.”

Flicka was a little more than I bargained for. Sure, Tim McGraw is in it. I have no idea who he is aside from seeing his face on just about every magazine at the checkout with his wife Faith Hill. I’ve never heard his music . . . I didn’t even know he was an actor!

There were some cheesy moments here and there. But Alison Lohman who plays “Katy” is believable, especially in the way she builds her trust with Flicka.

One of the reviews was right. . . it said to bring tissue. I was not expecting to be “verklempt” at all. But not only I, but a good portion of the audience needed tissue. Nichole and I laughed afterwards, we both thought we going to see a nice little “horsey” movie with the twins.

There was an adorable little girl next to Sophie and I (Lucy sat with Nichole behind us), who could not be consoled. She looked to be about 4ish and she totally understood what was going on and cried more than anybody there. I felt so sorry for her. But it was cute.
Of course, when she was able to see how the story was moving along, she began to feel better.

It was fun to sit with at least one of my baby girls and enjoy this time with her. She and Lucy love horses. If they could, they would love to have their own horse. During the ending credits, there are multiple snapshots of girls with their horses and I was hoping the twins would not try to hit me up for a horse. I was thankful that they were just happy to have seen the movie.

The date night was a success! Maria is happy and tucked into bed. Hubby is back at his “second life,” twins are in bed reading and I am trying not to obsess over my hand. God is good though, He knows my every thought. This morning’s time with Him, in Isaiah. . . I read,

“Let the people renew their strength!. . .
Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. . .
For I, the LORD your God, will hold your right hand,
Saying to you, 'Fear not, I will help you.'
Isaiah 41: 1, 10, 13

Amazing read! I had not planned to read this chapter, it’s just where I am. I am reminded that He hears me! And that even though my right hand is somewhat in pain or looking a bit unusual (to me and only me), that I have nothing to fear. I am renewed, strengthen and held up with the “Right hand” of the One who calms my anxious heart.

There is Power

2006-10-22T10:19:00.000-07:00

As I am driving away from our church's "Women's Breakfast yesterday," I say out loud, "Lord, I don't know why I am in awe of You. I should not be surprised by Your wonder."

Since being asked (a month ago) to lead the worship for this event, so many things came up and then there has a been the "down time."

And as I journaled in my previous blog, this week had been hectic. But I felt a peace that the worship would be alright. A friend told me a few days before that as a result of this week's craziness, He will be glorified through the music, He will be take over and the music will flow from me and my friends and will touch the many ladies attending.

How the Lord works it all out. . .

I didn't have time to ask my one friend to play percussion, but the Lord took care of it. . . she called me 2 days before the breakfast to let me know she would play. And my other friend was available to sing backup . . . as long as she knew the songs, that is. . . amazing. . . she did!!

The day of the breakfast. . .

I am not a guitar player by any means, but I am lead to play and use it in my worship. And I believe God is gracious to shield the ears of those who can tell the difference between good playing and bad. :-)

Trying to get 60+ ladies to stop talking can be a challenge. If you call them to attention, the majority may turn towards your voice, but you'll still have some stragglers (such as myself) who continue to talk. I understand!!! But a few strums will!

Even though I love to sing, sometimes I can get mixed up if I am playing and singing, so having someone else sing, I can go in and out and sing as I am lead to. I love to hear women singing, especially when they are in harmony.

I begin with "O My Redeemer." "I will praise you, O My Redeemer, repeat, For You are worthy, repeat, but this time I don't sing, instead I hear the most beautiful harmonies coming from these sweet ladies. . . my friend leading worship with me turned to me and smiled. . . she knew what I was thinking. :-) My heart begins to take off into worship.

I knew this worship time would be amazing. . .

I move on to "Hungry." As I get through "I'm falling on my knees, offering all of me," I notice one of my dear friends weeping. I am touched. I know that the Lord is touching her heart.

Moving through the songs, I notice there are others who are wiping their tears. Inside, I know that God has been glorified. I am thankful that I was used as His vessel and able to witness this beautiful moment.

I also realize when it is all over that I cannot take any credit. But I am reminded of the multiple ways of God faithfulness to those in the Word who lacked in ability, but proceeded anyway knowing they had the power of the Holy Spirit with them.

And that is what I saw yesterday. . . His power.

Unfailing Love

2006-10-20T23:10:00.000-07:00

What a week this has been. . .

Friend in hospital. . . driving a 1/2 hour away to her house a few times, to try to get it cleaned up for her, so when she comes home she will be comfortable and can concentrate on healing.

School. . . getting the kids there and back. Homework. . . what homework? Piano lesson, guitar lesson, drum lesson.

Wednesday. . . oldest daughter. . . asthma treatments all day. . . not doing well. Go to school potluck that night. Leave early to head off to ER to get her taken care of with steroids. But leaving the hospital she still is not feeling well. Wondering. . . Contemplating. . . should I have taken her to Children's? Does she need to be hospitalized? Why this week? Her birthday party Friday? That will break her heart.

Thursday . . . still not feeling better. . . back to the doctors. . . another round of steroids. . . FINALLY!!! She is back to normal. . . onto the next thing. . .

Friend in hospital. . . I make my way to meet w/physicians to go over rehab plan.

Friend in hospial's father, who doesn't believe in God, says to his daughter that he has to accept that there is a God in Heaven because of the circumstances surrounding her situation. He is a history teacher and taught in England for 15 years for Univ. of Maryland. AMAZING!

Try to leave hospital and beat traffic back home, take twins to babysitter. . . come back home, pick up oldest son . . . head off to Overlake Christian for Superchic[k] show.

At the show. . . John Reuben, Santus Real, Last Tuesday. . . I don't know. . . it could have been my exhaustion. . . but I just wasn't into it. . . Superchic[k] was okay, but I guess I expected more.

Friday. . . oldest daughter's birthday party / sleep over. House is in need of an overhaul. . . not enough time, but it all works out.

Everyone is having a good time. . . I leave to pick up cake and ice cream . . . friend in hospital calls and is hesterical. . . insurance won't pay for extra days in hospital . . . personal issues, not medical. . . Calming her down is of utmost importance. . . don't want her sternum to open. . . Albertson's . . . cake decorator writing name on my daughter's cake. . . I pray with my friend as I wait by the donut case. . . Finally she is calm. . . onto the next thing. . .

Oldest daughter falls in our redone backyard. . . I'm thinking she is overwhelmed by all the attention. . . Finally she is back to herself. . .

NOW. . . I can sit down and prepare for worship tomorrow. . . Women's Breakfast. . . Topic. . . CONTENTMENT.

What songs to do. . . I don't know.

Songs come together. . . it's all coming together.

Need one more. . . searching. . . then I find what I am looking for. . . .

"You have my heart, and I am Yours forever
You are my strength, God of grace and power
And everything You hold in Your hand
Still You make time for me
I can't understand
Praise You God of Earth and sky How beautiful is Your unfailing love
Unfailing love And You never change God You remain
The Holy One
My unfailing love, Unfailing love

You are my rock, the one I hold on to
You are my song, and I sing for You "
Unfailing Love by Chris Tomlin

After all has been said and done. . . I am reminded of Who holds me up.

I learned the truth AT SEVENTEEN. . . no 45

2006-10-15T00:40:00.000-07:00

I wanted to be in our school's talent show so bad, but I had to be a Junior, Senior or a gifted Sophomore in order to sing a solo. I was a Sophomore and I believed I was "gifted." So I took the plunge, stepped out and signed up for "tryouts."

Mr. Reed looked so much like Richard Dreyfuss' from "Mr. Holland's Opus," but these were vocal classes he taught at Palm Springs High, not band as Mr. Holland taught. He was very much the same type of personality; everything was done to the letter. Performing; guys in black pants, white shirts. Girls, hair pulled back, no earrings, only posts. . . shoes. . . beige pumps. YUCK! This was before pumps were in 5 years later in the 80's.

Mr. Reed had very high standards for his singers. Only the best would do or the very popular. But I would give it shot anyway.

He asked me if I was sure I wanted to do this even though I was only a Sophomore and didn't have anyone to accompany me. I was sure. I would sing my song "a cappella."

I figured Janis Ians' "At Seventeen" would show off my vocal skills and belt singing. It described how I felt about the world, even though I was only 15. But I was just like Janis' song described, who saw the world as meant for "beauty queens" with "clear skinned smiles."

Oh yes, I sang my heart out and loud;
"And those of us with ravaged facesLacking in the social gracesDesperately remained at homeInventing lovers on the phoneWho called to say come dance with meAnd murmured vague obscenitiesIt isn't all it seemsAt seventeen"

I threw my heart into that song. I knew I had done a good job. But I didn't get chosen to do a solo. I would have to be content with being one of the singers. But inside, it affected me more than I let on, even to myself.

Aside from other teenage growing pains, I became more and more detached from school, even choir, which was the very reason I even went to school.

Junior year, the talent show came and went.
Senior year, another talent show. I was more and more absent from school, but I showed up to choir. I couldn't bring myself to tryout again. The only redeeming thing about the talent show this year would be that we'd be performing Earth, Wind & Fire's "Fantasy." I loved that song.

I had no idea who was doing solos, nor did I care. Until I saw 2 of the most popular girls, Renee and Linda, doing MY SONG!!!! They were terrible! They were so quiet, they could hardly be heard. No feeling, no passion, just notes and words. I was crushed!

That was 27 years ago!!! Wow!

I sing today, but never have I ever had to audition for anything. I've either been invited to sing, record or lead women's worship or choral stuff, which I totally love.

But today . . . I auditioned.

I auditioned to see if I could do it. To prove to myself that I could get up in front of a group, a part from church or choral people.

It wasn't important for me to win the audition. The winning, for me would be in stepping out.

Our local Christian radio station, Spirit 105.3 held these auditions, for a charity a local mall has every year and Spirit provides local entertainment to kick off the Christmas Season.

Let me first say that, the selection was pretty minimal. Young and old-er, who sang okay, but in my opinion were very courageous to even get up on stage and sing with and without music. And then there were some groups and one choir that needed to continue in their musical training.

But there were a handful that was very, very good.

Inside. . . I knew I didn't really have anything to worry about, because I didn't really care if I was chosen as a performer or not. With that in mind, I knew first impressions are everything, so my clothes had to make a statement. Song: pick a holiday song, but one that will get the audience involved, clapping, etc.
I chose "Let's Make a Baby King" recorded by Wynonna, but I prefer "New Grass Revival's soulful, bluegrassy version.

My friend, Jessie, her husband, Paul and daughter Ashley gave me tips on keeping the audience "awake." As well as body movement and singing tips. Keeping all what they told me in mind, I gave it my all for that 1:30 sec audition.

Trying not to lose focus, I can't help but notice first that my voice was a lot stronger than everyone else who had auditioned to that point. As I am trying to concentrate, I notice people in the mall turning around to see who was singing. Then I notice people smiling and clapping their hands.

I feel a little more confident and let go a little more, allowing my head to turn in rhythm to the music, but with that, my mouth moves away from the mike. . . no longer being heard. . . I turned back. Jessie is relieved!!! Whew!

The smile on sound guy's face says it all. As I end, I get a pretty solid applause and Mike Tedesco of Spirit says to me, "That was a great job." He hadn't said anything like that to anyone else at that point. I felt very satisfied and proud.

What a feeling as many of the other singers had paid me the same compliments. Jamilla, a lovely young mother, whose voice was incredible as she sang a Rachel Lampa tune, told me her husband said that I had my "groove on." I told her that I wish I could sing like her.

A few minutes later, a man carrying a professional video camera, looking very serious comes up to me, asks me what church I attend, then proceeds to give me a card. I see it has the call letters to the local TBN station. He then tells me that I would be perfect for their "Praise the Lord" show here in Seattle and to call the station to make an appt.

Funny. . . I wasn't gushing. I was excited, but not elated. I, of course shared the news with my friends, but was more satisfied with my accomplishment of stepping out.

Do I believe I've won a spot to sing at this event? Jessilyn thinks I have, but I don't really care too much. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Had I proven this old point to myself?

I think from the moment I belted out the first note, I no longer had a point to prove. Inside I knew that I could always do it. I am talented and have been given multiple opportunities to show off that talent.

I just never really gave myself permission to let go.

I am giving myself permission!

LET GO!

What is a friend?

2006-10-01T20:32:00.000-07:00

Today, I had lunch with a dear friend from California. We share the same heritage and a deep love of the Lord. What a blessed time.

Last night, I had coffee with a dear friend I've known since our days in California. The conversation was very deep, very sincere, very moving.

Last week, I was blessed by spending time with my newest friend talking music, our heritages, and our lives.

Last weekend, I spent time with my sister and her partner without my children around. I've never allowed myself to let go and act as silly or have as much fun as I did with them then.

It seems that this last month has been about friendships in my life.

New friendships, old friendships and friendships in the middle.

Cultivating, giving, demonstrating, receiving and loving.

I have been blessed by the new friendships that the Lord has allowed me to share in recently. And the friendships that I've had for many years, sharing our good times as well as our difficult times.

In reflecting on these recent occasions, I wondered, what is friendship? What is the definition for "friendship?"

The word "friendship" in Webster's is defined as "an attachment to a person, proceeding from intimate acquaintance, and a reciprocation of kind offices, or from a favorable opinion of the amiable and respectable qualities of his mind. Friendship differs from benevolence"

Over the years, I've never really struggled in making new friends, but maintaining those friendships has not been my strong point. I've lost many a precious friend because I didn't take the time necessary to keep that friend.

Different reasons why; boredom, self-absorbed, marriage, motherhood . . . life!

The most important friendship these last 3 years has been my friendship with Jesus. Oh, I've known Him pretty much all my life. I even committed myself to Him in 1982. But, He has been one of those friendships that I didn't cultivate, didn't maintain, didn't take time to sit and listen to, didn't allow Him to be my friend the way He wanted to be.

Until I realized that His faithfulness all these years warranted my attention. I had to take notice, I had to acknowledge Him. I had to get to know Him, and as a result, Jesus has become my best friend. I can't go very far before I need to sit with Him, talk with Him, be with Him.

I admit that He is a better friend to me than I am to Him. I am still self-absorbed, selfish and self-centered. I still allow life to become more of my focus. I still tend to be seduced by life's "pleasures." But my Friend, is always here, always available and unchanging. Proverbs 18:24 says "A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

For this, I desire to strive and give to others what Jesus has given to me. Because He takes the time to listen to me, I desire to be a good listener to my friends.

Two of my dear friends are at different phases in their lives. Same ages, but the Lord is taking them on different journeys. There are similarities, i.e. their health and aging. Being able to sit with them and share His love, encourage them and laugh with them, I found myself listening more. Stopping myself in sharing, bragging, whatever and listening to the "still small voice" asking me to listen, to encourage, to pray.

I was blessed by what I had the privilege to hear; a desire to get to know Jesus more intimately, a desire to learn to trust Him, a desire to submit to Jesus, to His control and a desire to allow His love to infiltrate the blood cells of the Body.

"A friend loves at all times." Or "A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need." Proverbs 17:17

Because of the time, although inconsistent at times, I've spent with the Lover of my Soul, my love for my friends, near and dear, old and new, has strengthen my desire to "be" a friend. To hold these friendships with care, to be mindful of what I say, to make sure that I am trustworthy, keeping things said, between us.

It has been easy, too easy, to want to flaunt these friendships with others. But, it doesn't matter who these friends are and what position they hold by the world's standards nor mine. What does matter is who I know. . . Jesus!!! And not what I get out of these relationships, but what I am putting in.

To have good friends, I must be a good friend. And I must allow my friends to be friends to me. "As iron sharpens iron, a friend sharpens a friend." Proverbs 27:17

As I reread and proof this writing, I am listening to the live music of a church service and playing on their sound system is "Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down life for his friends." It was meant for me. Thank you, Lord, that you know my heart. Praise You for Your goodness.

I pray that this writing will encourage anyone who is reading this to stop and think about what type of friend they are and strive to be the type of friend Jesus desires you to be.

Where do I look for my security?

2006-09-24T20:28:00.000-07:00

Went to Calvary Chapel Montebello, CA today with my sister.

What a blessing to visit with Pastor Pancho Juarez for a few minutes. How he needs encouraging. The Lord is taking him through a dark season. I know the Lord is using this time in life for His glory and for Pastor Pancho's relationship with Him, a closer, more intimate walk with Jesus. For nothing is wasted with the Lord. I'm thankful to My Father that He allowed me to speak words of encouragment to Pastor Pancho.

I shared with Pancho my summer of being able to lead a women's study. I wanted him to know how the Lord used his teachings to help convey the subject of contentment and Jesus to my small group. I also shared HOW God spoke to me, His sense of humor as I experienced some strange and terrific things in my life and how the Lord used them to speak Truth into my life. How my love for not only reading the Word has grown, but now my love of studying the Word has begun. I loved Pancho's reaction to that last statement; a wink and smile, as if to say, "Yeah, you got it! You go girl!"

But as Pastor Pancho says, he stumbles, he falls, he loses focus, his heart is dark.

And so the great struggle. I work out my salvation with fear and trembling.

I've had some moments recently that have shown me that my focus has being imbalanced. And so He humbled me today. How lovingly the Lord reels me in. My focus is back on track. My eyes are fixed on the Author and the Perfecter of my faith.

No matter what...

I serve a Lord who is with me

He will not forsake me.

When I am having those weak moments of trusting in my flesh, the Lord is near whispering into the depths of soul, "Lean not on your own understanding, Loretta, but trust in Me."

Praise the Lord, for He is so faithful.
Praise the Lord, for nothing is too great for Him!

"He is our comfort, our sustainer.
He is our help in time of need
When we wander, He is our Shepherd
He who watches over us never sleeps

Take heart my friend, the Lord is with us
As He has been all the days of our lives
Our assurance every morning
Our defender in the night"
"Take Heart, My Friend"
Fernando Ortega

Mute Math playing at the Showbox...my fantasy come true

2006-09-21T05:35:00.000-07:00

My grupo favorito, Mute Math kicked off their 2 month tour here in Seattle. What an amazing show. . . complete with a light show.

Roy Mitchell-Cárdenas, bassist for the group y mi amigo bueno, reminded me that I had said last year they should perform at the Showbox.
I had the wonderful honor of picking Roy up from the airport as well as the other members and crew. Wonderful people!

That evening before the show, as I stood there waiting for MM to come out, I could feel the anticipation growing as the crowd was waiting to hear their favorite band.

Then it started. . . my stomach began to feel queasy (and no . . . not from the bad chinese food we'd had before the show), but from seeing a fantasy fulfilled.

The music began and I could feel the tears wanting to well up inside of me. Why was this happening? I realized I felt like a proud mom watching her kids.

Throughout the show, I walked around the Showbox looking at all the people, on the floor, back in the bar, then standing on the opposite side stage left, over by the mdse. and the looks on their faces. . . it was awesome!

I didn't feel I could truly let go and enjoy the concert just for myself, until the end and I REALLY enjoyed singing and dancing to "Peculiar People."

Their CD will be released Sept 26. A special kick off will take place at FINGERPRINTS in Long Beach, CA.

Wish I could be there!

Can marriage get better, be better with time?

2006-09-18T04:07:00.000-07:00

16 years ago, I attended our church's women's retreat where Nancy Missler was to be our guest speaker. Her husband is Chuck Missler the "Who's Who in Prophecy." She had written a book called: Why Should I be the First to Change? - which tells the complete story of the "turn around" of Chuck and Nancy's 20 year Christian marriage. http://www.khouse.org/pages/mcat/khouse/about_the_misslers/

I remember reading that their marriage began to take a turn after 18 years. At the retreat, feeling very defeated in my own union with my husband (married 4 years) I approached her, tears flowing from my face and asked, "Is it going to take me 18 years, too?"

Well . . . my husband and I have been married for over 21 years and yes . . . overall, it has been more than 18 years.

My husband is a great guy. I have truly been blessed. In any marriage, two people bring "baggage" with them, and I had LOTS to bring. I expected my husband to always be my "knight," which of course is totally unfair. I had an unrealistic view of marriage.

Gary Thomas asks the question "what if marriage was not meant to make you happy, but to make you holy?"

I am mostly a slow reader by nature. A week before Gary was scheduled to speak at a intimate seminar for our church, I had decided to finally read his latest book, "Sacred Influence." By day 5, I was in chapter 10. This book has transformed my life and my view of my marriage.

A couple of days before I had thought to open up the book, in my quiet time I'd read "For 'who has known the mind of the Lord that he may instruct Him?' But we have the mind of Christ." 1 Corinthians 2:16. Reading this many times before, I had never thought to ponder this statement, but this particular morning I asked the Lord, "If I have the "mind of Christ," then what does that look like?"

A few moments later, I recalled 1 Corinthians 13:7 "bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." I thought of what my marriage had been. What I wanted it to be. And then I realized, perhaps this is the "cross" the Lord has asked me to "bear." I CAN bear, I CAN believe, I CAN hope, I CAN endure, BECAUSE LOVE NEVER FAILS!! (1 Corinthians 13:8) The cross doesn't have to be carried with a heart that is cast down, but a heart that is rejoicing!! I can bear this cross with JOY!

So a couple of days later, I begin to read "Sacred Influence" not knowing that the Lord was answering my question, "If "I" have the "mind of Christ," then what does that look like?"

This book is aimed at wives and how to be the wife your husband needs. The Lord had been preparing me to read this book for the last 3 years . . . okay 22 years!!! All my suffering, physical, mental, emotional, imagined was allowed so that I would be ready for the lessons I would learn as I read through these pages.

I was soaking up the pages as I read what I could be to my husband, who he needs me to be as his wife. I no longer felt resentful about my having to change in order to see change in him. I desired to change and become a woman he honors, loves and respects.

I am amazed . . . in about 5 days, I felt my countenance change and become uplifted and encouraged.

Before Gary Thomas got up to teach us in the ways of being better spouses, I asked if I could speak with him about his book and the changes taking place in my heart and mind.

He smiled as I spoke, not a polite "I'll listen for a few moments and tune out to think about what I'll first say as I walk up to greet the folks out there," but a smile like he knew what I was talking about. I welled with tears as I told him that even if the man I married didn't become the husband I wanted or needed, I understood that this was my cross to endure. And I was willing to become the wife my husband needs and become the woman God desires to see in me. He said, "well . . . you've just said what I prepared to say to everyone today. You got it, you "get it." "

I further explained how I wished many of my friends out there at the tables could read this book, because they don't realize, just as I didn't, that they are punishing their husbands. He was surprised by what I said and commented, "what an interesting statement, I need to remember that, "they are punishing their husbands." "

And yes, my husband has seen the changes in me and has responded in kind. God is good. I can love my husband not because he loved me first or meets my needs first, but because Christ loved me first and gave His life up for me and I want to please my Lord and be a sweet sacrifice to Him. If I say I love God, but hate my brother then I lie. (1Jo 4:20 ) I believe I finally understand that verse.

Can marriage get better, be better with time? Depends on where your focus is and what you define as "better." Better doesn't always mean "happy." You can experience "seasons" of happiness. But it will be through the fires of testing that you will see what your marriage is made of and who you are as you go through those times.

Is marriage meant to make us happy or holy?

2006-09-13T00:45:00.000-07:00

Gary Thomas author of Sacred Marriage on Bono of U2 :
"In his most recent CD, he has a line that appears in two different songs, it's slightly altered but it's pretty much the same thought, appears in two different songs, and it struck me because Bono is about my age, he's been married about as long as I've been married, extremly unusual for a rock star, in that he's been married to the same woman for over 20 years. And he writes one long line. He says; "I could never take the chance of losing love to find romance." And here's a rock star... he could find a new romance everyday of the week as U2 is out on tour, but he says you know what, there's a certain excitment in romance. Yeah, there's a certain fun to it, but to take that, I'd lose love. I'd lose a sense of loyally walking with one woman throughout my life. And he says I choose love."

Gary Thomas, noted author and speaker of Sacred Marriage was the guest speaker at our church recently.

Another quote from that Sunday's message:
"When we expect perfection out of marriage we are setting ourselves for disaster. Marriage means tortuous work and a predictable routine. That's what you should expect. Indeed a successful marriage has little to do with sustained bliss and everything to do with the grind." from her book "Surrendering to Marriage" by Iris Krasnow Quoting this author because a growing number of newlyweds thought marriage would be different, terrified they had made the wrong decision because they couldn't believe how difficult marriage was. He says: "you didn't make the wrong choice, you went into it with the wrong expectations, about what marriage would involve. You never really understood what it was about."

This was my favorite:
"You go into marriage hoping for a Mercedes Benz and you wake up with a Geo Prism!"

My husband and I are attending his seminar this weekend. And I am anticipating alot. Mostly changes from within myself.

You can listen to this message, by clicking the link below:

Listen Now!

Read now: Chapter One

What do you call it? Fear, anxiety, worry, concern?

2006-09-13T00:41:00.000-07:00

Call it whatever you want, but. . . the bottom line is, it's fear.

David Hocking says:
"Fear is the expected result of not trusting the Lord. Whenever you have stopped trusting the Lord, you have opened up pandora's box of fear.
Fear will result in emotional traps.When you decide you're not going to trust the Lord, or maybe you just don't, you haven't decided to do that, it's just our natural tendency. The result of not trusting the Lord is you fall into emotional traps.

Why?
Read Psalm 23.
"The Lord is my shepherd;I shall not want.He makes me to lie down in green pastures;He leads me beside the still waters.He restores my soul;He leads me in the paths of righteousnessFor His name's sake.Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,I will fear no evil;"
Stop there.

The fear of evil is a result of not trusting the Lord. Some of us are afraid of evil itself, no matter what form it takes and it's an emotional trap.
If the Lord is for us, who can be against us says Romans 8. We either believe that or we don't."